From the series: The Art of Subtracting
Making space before we make plans.
After the holidays, I notice a different kind of tiredness. Not the kind that comes from doing too much, but the kind that comes from talking too much.
Explaining plans. Explaining changes. Explaining why something that feels clear to me suddenly needs context when shared out loud.
It’s subtle, but it adds up.
Some explanations come from generosity. Others come from habit. And then there are the ones that come from a quiet discomfort, the feeling that a decision isn’t complete until it makes sense to someone else.
I’ve been paying attention to that difference.
When a choice is right for you, it often feels settled long before it’s spoken. The moment it leaves your mouth, though, it can start collecting reasons it never asked for. The more we explain, the more we negotiate something that was already decided.
Mel Robbins has spoken about this in a simple, grounded way, how confidence doesn’t come from being understood by everyone, but from trusting yourself enough to stop explaining every move you make. When that trust is there, the need to justify fades naturally, without conflict or distance.
This isn’t about closing yourself off. It’s about conserving energy. It’s about recognizing when explanation turns into erosion.
Subtracting that habit creates space. Not just for you, but for your decisions to breathe.
Let’s Try This
The next time you feel yourself explaining something, pause.
Ask yourself: Is this explanation adding clarity, or am I asking for permission I don’t actually need?
If it’s the second one, you’re allowed to stop.
Warm wishes,
