From the series: The Upside of the Downside
In our last conversation, we talked about what it means to go quiet, to stay calm and present even when life puts you on mute.
This time, I want to explore what happens when the plan itself falls apart.
Life is not a straight highway. It is roads, alleys, and sometimes a dead-end that forces you to turn back and choose another direction. For me, the hardest detours have been around work and career. You pour years into a path, build relationships, do the right things, and then one day the path crumbles. A job ends. A role disappears. And suddenly, you are standing at the edge, wondering, What now?
In those moments, the emotions can be raw: panic, self-doubt, even blaming yourself or others. I have been there too. And I have learned that while reflection is healthy, blame of yourself or anyone else rarely helps. What matters most is understanding. Every experience has something to teach us, even if it hurts in the moment.
The same is true in relationships. We often enter with plans, expectations, or hopes that life together will look a certain way. But your partner, or even your children, are not another version of you. They are individuals with their own paths. And when things unravel, it is easy to defend, accuse, or collapse into shame. Yet, just like in work, it is not about blame. It is about how we grow from what we could not control.
This is where resilience begins: not in denying the loss, but in walking forward anyway.
I am reminded of Norman Rosenthal’s book The Gift of Adversity, where he shares how setbacks, when faced with openness, can become unexpected turning points. One line stayed with me: that adversity can “reveal hidden strengths and teach lessons we would not have chosen to learn.” That perspective has shifted how I see my own dead-end alleys.
So, here are a couple of reflections you might carry with you this week:
- When a plan in your life collapsed, what strength or lesson eventually emerged from it?
- How might you see today’s setback not as the end of the road, but as a bend toward something new?
Every ending carries within it the seed of a beginning. The question is not whether we will face detours, it is how we will keep standing when we do.
Warm Wishes
