From the series: The Upside of the Downside
Welcome back to The Upside of the Downside. In our last conversation, we explored what it means to face setbacks and still keep moving forward. This week’s episode, Comparison is a Weird Mirror, is about something quieter but just as powerful: comparison.
There’s an old American saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” And of course, “keeping up with the Joneses” has long been a cultural habit. Both point to the same truth: we’ve always looked at someone else’s life and wondered if ours measures up.
Today, social media has taken that tendency and put it on steroids. On Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube, success is everywhere: the perfect couple, the perfect body, the dream career, the kind of achievements we never imagined possible. And often, late at night or in quiet moments, you might hear yourself asking: Why not me? Could I ever be like them?
I’ve been there too. It’s easy to doubt your own path when others seem so far ahead. But here’s the question I keep coming back to: even if you achieved the same, would it bring you happiness? Or would it just be another layer of someone else’s dream?
What I’ve learned is this: comparison can either drain you or drive you. You don’t need to copy anyone else. You are you, and that’s your strength. Others’ success can inspire, but it doesn’t define your worth. And let’s not forget – what you see online may not be the whole story. You don’t see the long nights, the setbacks, the sacrifices behind the scenes.
I’m reminded of a book that reframes this whole idea: The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. They suggest that instead of measuring yourself against others, measure yourself against your own “before.” Look at the gain you’ve made, not the gap between you and someone else. That shift changes everything.
Here are two reflections for this week:
- When you catch yourself comparing, what hidden value or desire is it revealing about what matters to you?
- How can you measure yourself against your own progress, not someone else’s highlight reel?
The mirror of comparison may be warped, but the truth it reflects is this: your story is yours. And that’s enough.
Warm Wishes
